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Gavagai.pl Autorzy Woody Allen

Sentencje w bazie Gavagai:

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead.

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To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

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Notes for a ballet, "The Spell": ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman --unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes ...

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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

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More than any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

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Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

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Actor: So what do you do for a living? Doris: I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.

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When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

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The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

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The only thing I regret is that I'm not somebody else.

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Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

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The structure of the joke is . . . the juxtaposition of the trivial and the mundane . . . We have to reconcile the paradox of it all. The joke mirrors that paradox.

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The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

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My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.

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I knew a Southern bigot who was a bed wetter. He used to go to his Klan meetings in rubber sheets.

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Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend.

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Don't knock masturbation - its sex with someone I love.

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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

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It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

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At the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Needleman leaned out of his box and fell into the orchestra pit. Too proud to admit it was a mistake, he attended the opera every night for a month and repeated it each time. (from Side Effects)

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The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.

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The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion. (from Without Feathers)

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I am at two with nature.

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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

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I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

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Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

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Mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to extinction. Let us pray we choose correctly.

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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

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On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

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Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. (from Without Feathers)

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Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered.

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Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

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Eighty percent of success is showing up.

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Posiadanie pieniędzy jest lepsze niż nędza, z powodów czysto finansowych.

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