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You have grown up in a culture which has taught you taht you are not responsible for your feelings even though the syllogistic truth is that you always were. You've learned a host of sayings to defend yourself against the fact that you do not control your feelings. Here is a brief list of such utterances that you have used over and over:
|You hurt my feelings||„I hurt my feelings because of the things I told myself about your reaction to me.|
|You make me feel bad.||I made myself feel bad.|
|I can't help the way I feel.||I can help the way I feel, but I've chosen to feel upset.|
|I just feel angry, don't ask me to explain it.||I've decided to be angry, because I can usually manipulate others with my anger, since they think I control them.|
|He makes me sick.||I make myself sick.|
|Heights scare me.||I scare myself at high places.|
|You are embarassing me.||I'm embarrassing myself.|
|She really turns me on.||I turn myself on whenever I'm near her.„|
|You made a fool of me in public.||I made myself feel foolish by taking your opinions of me more seriously than my own, and believing that others would do the same.|